Oh, and approximately...
49 suggestions....
35 invites...
10 pokes...
AND...
8 friend requests. Phew!
Yep, I'm talking about Facebook. And how ridiculous it, and it's many users, have become (well not all). Ok, so maybe I've slightly exaggerrated on my stats there but I think you get the gist.
So, the other week I decided to delete my Facebook account. So liberating. After uhmming and ahhing about it for months, I finally found the 'strength' (as it is so often put), to rid of my Facebook life. I was getting fed up of constantly checking it, being nosy and being nosed upon. It was slowly dawning on me that this phenomenon that is such a big part of people's lives, is actually, well a bit out of control. I remember first signing up and thinking, 'wow this is brilliant!', uploading endless photo's, updating endless statuses, and having enless wall-to-wall relationships with endless 'friends'. I felt I was being consumed within this online cult, being surrounded by people with a completely seperate online personality to what they are like in real life.
Another thing that was really annoying me were the random 'friend' requests. I find it fascinating that what it means to be friends with someone in real life has a completely different rule-set online in the social networking world. People that you haven't spoken to nor seen in years, surely aren't your friends?! Having discussed this with fellow users and friends, before leaving it is a common theme to have a regular FB cull. That is, binning those on your online-mental-blacklist. However, this ony goes and backfires when the recipient finds out, re-adds and emssages your inbox wondering why. Um, awkward!?
I felt uncomfortable that just under 400 people had seen nearly every possible photo of me, whiklst automatically gaining the privelge to comment upon it as they pleased. Although I had the strictest possible security and privacy settings, and it was my own faulty for uploading them all, I just felt really really wierd to think about this! I found that i was judging people by what they were like on Facbook based on their activities and status updates. But, this was mostly those really annoying people who state the most fucking boring things. You know who you are, now stop. No one likes you.
And should you be lucky enough to meet a potential partner when out and about, chances are that they have already checked out your profile before even arranging a date! (Which could explain the no date, ahem).
Another reaosn was that those in your friend list were able to keep track with your every day life, what you did, who you saw and where you were. All this sort of information could be found out from a single comment you may have posted on someones profile... to then be read by just about everyone else you and they know. The only problem with this is that when you do actually get to enjoy time with friends and family, there is a really good chance that they know everything about what you have been up to.
Hmm, brilliant for conversation and catching up, not.
What I found most annoying about the whole thing were the continuous suggestions by other people to join this or attend that or like such and such. Why?! Is it not up to me what my interests are. for example, if you 'like' rock music, it isn't long until you have hunderds of suggestions to join music groups. Also, when you are a member of a group (sounds so secret, so in the know. Not at all), that sends out a message, everyone gets it and other peoples subsequent replies. Which means you loads of private messages. The initial flutter of seeing Inbox (1) soon dies when you realise it's probably some idiot reminding you of the £1 shots at some shitty bar you went to once in freshers week. Hmf.
But what I have found most bizarre since doing this and informing my (shock horror) real human friends was the mixed reception I received. I thought most people would be indifferent about it, but mostly the response fell into 2 categories - one being a huge congratulations (as if I'd given birth to quads) or two, complete uncomprehension (as if I had 12 heads).
I understand the beauty of Facebook. It is brilliant for keeping in touch with those abroad. But then an email still defitinely beats this as it is more private, personal and you can spend time constructing a decent message. Also, it is brilliant socially. Nearly every type of event that is happening in your local city has its own group or event created in advance with dates, times and locations. this is great for planning cool things to do. Again, nothing the local free magazines don't do well.
I used to find those without a Facebook (and it is only a couple) really odd seeing as everyone ever had one. I just couldn't understand it.
I certainly do now. The power of a face-to-face interaction with those you love and want to be around is seriously underestimated. The likes of social networking however, with all its good intentions, only exacerbates this problem. Surely, if you are friends with someone enough to be in contact regularly and they know most things about you, then wouldn't their number alone suffice?
What I've written is from personal experience and it's not exclusisive to FB but we have all sadly heard/read horror stories associated with this online world. It is also very common to check it routinely throughout the day, especially with phone applications allowing you to do so at any time or place. I was not the only one who would check more than a few times a day. It can be addictive. And anyone who insists that they don't go on it far too much is lying!
This has been a quick but painful divorce. Irreconcilable differences despite extensive memories.
So, back to polishing my interpersonal skills.
Hey, maybe even handwritten letters will come back into fashion if more people follow suit?
Ok, maybe that's just wishful thinking...
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